These days when people refer to the phrase “mail order bride” it’s usually used in the context of a joke because the idea of ordering a bride from a foreign country is one that is silly and quite frankly a sign of desperation to many. Yet, to the women that are being shipped over to the U.S like cargo, being a mail order bride is no laughing matter and rarely a happy ending.
And what most people don’t know is that the Philippines like many other Asian countries like Thailand, Japan and China is one of the largest mail order bride exporters to the United States.
Yet, what I don’t seem to understand is why a man would go through all of the trouble of ordering a foreign bride despite the many things that could go wrong and DO go wrong.
Taking a look at sites like internationallovescout.com I went through the categories of women like Latin, African,Russian, Asian and so on, (yes oddly enough, there are neat little categories of women!) with banners that say “goodbye” across the photos of the women who are off the market!
Is it just me or is that just a little CREEPY?!
And wait if the appeal of Asian women is usually that they are submissive and obedient, why are the photos of women in their bikinis and in provocative and revealing poses? Hmm, not exactly wife material if you ask me. Then again a woman posing in an apron with her 3 kids and one in the oven wouldn’t exactly be appealing to most of the men that go to these sites now would they.
Well hopefully they at least come with some sort of refund policy. You know, just in case the customer isn’t satisfied with the size or color of his new item? Or maybe the “item” only looked good when he clicked her into his online shopping cart and doesn’t cook, clean and perform her other “traditional marital duties” that he payed ridiculous amounts of money for. Sound silly? That’s because it is! Honestly, how can a man order a bride and expect her to be “the woman of his dreams.” First of all, the language barrier alone would cause significant problems between the couple.
And the fact that the two partners wouldn’t have enough time to get to know each other would also be a contributing factor to a failed marriage. Besides, most of these women are either deceived into believing that a better life waits for them in the U.S or they are so poor that they will resort to selling themselves for citizenship to a “better place.”
Even worse, there are so many legal issues involved. Though most who condone this shady business of exporting women won’t admit it, mail order bride businesses pose a striking resemblance to prostitution, one that is far too close to be a coincidence. But even with most prostitutes here in the U.S, there is some sense of mutual consent, whereas mail order brides are often tricked into becoming sex slaves.
Many mail order brides from the Philippines also report a great deal of domestic abuse by their husbands when they arrive. And what’s to stop them from leaving the marriage after the 2 year mandatory period of her green card expires? Also it could take several thousands of dollars and months to complete the process of getting a K1 Fiancee visa. So for a man to go through these agencies to buy a wife is not only just desperate to me, but pretty twisted. Besides, isn’t that what match.com is for?!